everyday

Making Every Day a New Beginning

Thoughts on life, of death of living and finding joy.

 

It is very true that every day is a new beginning. It doesn’t matter what happened yesterday, or what happened last week,  when the sun comes up in the morning, it can be a new beginning to your life.

We all make mistakes, we all do things and say things that we wish we had not, but in the “New Beginning” of a new day, we can say “sorry”  and make amends for things we said or did,  we can swallow our pride, go to the person we offended, and ask for their forgiveness.  There is no shame in admitting you were wrong,  no shame in asking for forgiveness.  It is healing for you, in your own heart, and perhaps also repairing a friendship damaged by careless actions or words.  We can determine in our heart to do better, to be better and to try again.  Failure can crush us, or help to lift us higher, it all depends on how we choose to view a failure.

No matter how hard your life may seem,  begin each day as “new” as a fresh start, a new way of looking at things, a new way of seeing things.  Determine in your heart to be positive, to start over, to try again.  You may fail, you may not, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that you keep trying.

If you need help, ask for it.  No one can always be self sufficient, sometimes you need help, don’t be ashamed to ask for it.  Maybe all you need is someone to listen with an open mind and open heart, sometimes the words of a “listener” are louder than the words of a “talker” and suddenly an answer is there.  Or maybe you need some advice,  you need to find another way of seeing a situation, another person’s perspective.  Speak to someone you trust, or even seek professional help if you feel that’s necessary, it can all help you to find an answer, find a way forward.   There is always a way forward, even when we can’t see it, even when we see only darkness before us,  there is a way.

Choice is a very powerful and amazing thing.  The way you think in your heart, the way you choose to feel, or think, or act,  can make all the difference to how a day will go, or how a situation will develop.

What will you choose today?     For me,   I choose to be happy, positive and to try to see the best and the good in every situation, and to find the good and best in the people I meet during the day.  It is not always easy to find something good and positive about some people, I  must admit,  and with some people I do struggle to find something even likeable, but I try nonetheless.  With others, it is easy, and I am sure it’s because they too have chosen to be positive and happy and “look on the bright side” of their daily lives.  It is amazing how often you find a  “kindred spirit” (have you read Anne Of Green Gables?) when you are determined to find happiness and joy.

We are here for such a short time – too soon our lives are over and we are facing death.  Don’t face the end of your life with sadness and regret, choose today to make a difference, to be more positive, happier, and reach out to those you meet today, with a positive and joyous attitude.  It can begin with a smile, catch someone’s eye and smile and see what happens!  Some people will of course, frown at you, but others will look at you and smile back!  It may take them a moment, they wonder if they know you, they wonder why you are smiling, but most people will instinctively smile back,  it’s contagious!   Try really looking at people, seeing them as other human beings, perhaps suffering perhaps in pain, perhaps lonely and feeling abandoned, every person has a story,  your smile may be the best thing to happen to them today!

Maybe you don’t have any reason to be happy or joyous – life can be incredibly hard and steal that joy away, but you can choose it, you can choose to be filled with joy, even though things may be tough.  Try it for a week!  Try choosing each morning, before you get out of bed, to be happy.   It takes a bit of practice, but it’s possible, and it can transform your world.

You can practice finding joy in the smallest things – a bird singing in the tree, a cat purring in the sunshine,  a dog wagging it’s tail enthusiastically.  A small child’s laughter,  that wonderful sound of a child finding joy in some small thing.  There is something absolutely transforming in the smile of a child, and in that shared moment as the child shares with you the joy of discovery.  The blue of the sky, the sound of the waves of the sea, a river stream tumbling over rocks, a butterfly landing on a flower it’s beautiful wings highlighted by the sun,  the flower itself, resplendent with color and perfume.  Joy is all around us, we just need to see and hear it.  The smallest of things can bring a smile to our faces and a lift to our hearts when we are actively looking for joy.

And there is peace in finding joy,  the two go together.  When we find joy, we also find peace and when we find peace, we find joy.  Peace is not some transitory feeling, it is a state of mind and heart, and inner tranquility that is not disturbed by outer events.  Have you ever met someone who just seems to live in a place that is somehow unaffected by the turmoil or trouble around them?  Who can remain calm and tranquil, amidst all kinds of chaos, whether natural or emotional?  Their faces are serene, their brow not furrowed in a frown,  and they seem to have some inner strength that can seem almost unworldly?  That’s the kind of peace I am speaking of, and which once attained, practiced and maintained, can see us through life’s ups and downs with grace, charm and most of all, inner peace and joy.

I know it is not easy to find peace and joy amidst pain and suffering.   I know that there are those of you who live with chronic ongoing pain, and I know from personal experience, that pain is one of the major stumbling blocks to finding peace and joy, and I would probably have been very vocal if you had suggested I even try in the midst of constant, unrelieved pain, to find joy!    But also from personal experience,  I know you can!

The pain of loosing someone we love, is a special, keen and unrelenting, ongoing pain that seems to have no end, we cannot imagine a day without missing that person, a moment when we are not thinking of them and wishing they were still here,  and feeling that horrible aching pain in our hearts.   The pain of the loss of a loved one, especially a child, never goes away, we simply learn to live with the pain, to co-exist with the hurt in our hearts that no one can take away or make better.  Our hearts will not  “mend”  our minds will not “forget” but as the days go by, turning into weeks, turning into months, turning into years,  the pain changes, and becomes a bitter/sweet remembering, and although we cannot imagine it,  we find ourselves smiling at a memory,  a word, a poem, a song, something special that brings a memory of our loved one, and now, instead of tears, we find a smile at the remembrance.   This is not  “getting over it”  this is acceptance of our loss.   We know that the one who is gone would not want us to live our lives in misery and pain, we know they would say  “Live your life, soon enough you will be here with me ”  and we know that they loved us and wanted only the best for us,  and so, we move on with our lives.  Perhaps slower, perhaps with more care, perhaps with more compassion, because of our loss, but it is the way of life,  we move forward because there is no choice,  we cannot remain stationary, there is only forward movement.   Death is a part of life.  No one can tell you how long it will take before there seems to be light at the end of your mourning tunnel, and no one can tell you “get over it” Each person deals with grief and loss in their own way, in their own time, and you should take your time to grieve and mourn and feel what you are feeling, until in your own heart you know, it’s time to move forward again.  And when in your own heart you know it’s time to move in,  take the time to look, to listen, to smell, to feel,  the world around you, choose, on that day, that you will live the rest of your life in peace and joy, in honour of the one who has gone before you.  Not in the depths of despair, but in the peace and joy of living, a positive, happy and contented life.

We can choose it!